Awestruck…

It was December 2019 and I had committed to two new things for the upcoming year. One was to ask the Lord for a specific Scripture for the New Year and the other was to read The Bible in it’s fullness in 365 days, in chronological order. Both of these things had a profound impact on my life and my walk with The Lord.

First, the word I received from the Lord for the year was Exodus 20:20. At first mention of it, I pushed back a bit and laughed, really? A 20:20 reference. I didn’t heed the word at first and kept asking. It was a following Sunday at church when the senior pastor referenced Exodus 20:20 and I knew in my spirit that I needed to heed the word.

We should never be afraid of God. It is not that kind of fear we should have because He loved us first so we could love. We cannot love without Him. Love is defined by God. The fear of God is a reverential fear. One where we stand in awe of Who He is. One where we sit in awe of Who He is. One where we kneel in awe of Who He is. One where every posture is in awe of Who He is. Who is God to you? Who do you say that He is?

He is the Creator of the Heavens and the earth. He is our Maker. The One who knits us together in our mother’s womb. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. The First and The Last. He is the Great “I AM.” Do you know Him like this? He is our Refuge and our Strong Tower. He is The Rock of Ages. Our firm foundation. When we are His, we are hidden in Him. He is our Great Physician, our Healer, Jehovah Rapha. He is our Provision and Provider, Jehovah Jireh. He sustains us and keeps us. His love is unrelenting. His grace is all sufficient. His mercy is redeeming. He is our Redeemer. Our Hope. Our Joy. Our Peace. Do you know Him like this? He is our Shepherd and our Banner. He sees all and knows all. He is our Fortress and Deliverer. He is The Ancient of Days. A Consuming Fire. Faithful and True…and so so much more. The One True God of Scripture. It is in The Word of God, The Bible that we learn Who He is….His nature and character, as well as the heart of God.

In 2019, a son got married, a daughter got engaged and our first grandchild was announced. We traveled to Switzerland and Italy with both sets of parents in the spring, as well as our first trip to Israel in December along with Scott’s parents. Twenty-twenty was full of anticipation for great things. Another wedding and the birth of our grandson. We started the year with a family vacation with all of our children and their spouses returning home the first weekend in March. Then the world seemed to turn upside down. Our oldest daughter at school in Texas returned home to PA before the “shelter in place” was official. It was then that the most unexpected personal event took place in our lives. Scott’s dad, Jay passed. Even though he is missed, we knew he passed on to Glory. For this we have an assured peace. A peace not found in this world.

We moved Scott’s mom, Linda into our home temporarily as she navigated the most significant change in her life. As the world was being told to stay home and isolate, I kept asking the Lord, “what are we to do?” The response, “Keeping living. Do what you know is right for you and your family.” So we hosted extended family in our home after Jay’s private and small funeral. Morgan’s lease on her apartment was coming up. “Lord, what do we do?” Again, “Keeping living. Do what you know is right for you and your family.” So, we flew to Dallas, packed up the apartment and drove home. Linda’s home in Florida…what do we do? “Keeping living. Do what you know is right for you and your family.” So, we purchased tickets and flew to Florida, packed up the house and put it on the market. Then we flew back home.

During all of this, Scott had resigned from his job and been offered a new one. He was out of work a month. A month he was able to dedicate to his mom helping her navigate so much change. The new job took us to Grand Rapids, Michigan a few times, flying back and forth. Spending the month of June getting to know the area and finding a home. All the while, asking the Lord what we should do. “Keeping living. Do what you know is right for you and your family.” This is what was right for us. I share all of that to say, I chose to focus on God. Focus on Him and Who He is…El Sali, my Rock. I could not let fear in. I could not doubt Him and His goodness. I could not waver, even while leaving everything we have ever know to go where He led us. Doubt and fear bring open doors. Doors that are not in agreement with what God says.

As some struggled and wrestled with everything that was happening in the world around us, and we were being told to isolate ourselves, I recall questioning God, “Did Jesus ever retreat?” In my spirit, a resounding yes. But not the yes you may be thinking. The yes was Jesus retreated to be with The Father. To seek Him and do what He wanted Him to do. So that is what we did and how we lived out 2020. As a result, I stand in awe of Him and what He has done, even in the midst of loss. Loss of a father. Loss of the familiar. I do not regret one thing about 2020. I stand awestruck of all that God is and I will praise Him all the days of my life.

Yes, I will praise The Lord. I will praise His Holy Name. For He alone is worthy. Worthy of all my praise. It was a year of testing. A year of sifting. Separating. In Whom will I trust? Whom will I behold? There is so much to be thankful for. I have learned to praise Him in the valley. Praise Him in the darkness. Of course, on the mountaintop! But I will praise Him in the wilderness, too. I will praise Him with my arms lifted high. I will praise Him with all my heart. I will praise Him on bended knee. Praise Him with my lips. He is worthy to be honored and worthy to be glorified! I will praise Him with my song and my words. Our words have the power of life and death. What words our you giving power to? Our words grant authority to what we agree with. What are you giving agreement to? Are you agreeing with what The Lord says? With what The Word says or what the world says? You empower what you agree with. What will you choose?

He is calling! He is knocking!! God wants you to choose Him. He wants you to choose life. Life everlasting. Abundant life. Our agreement with our thoughts if not taken captive to the obedience of Christ are with the enemy. Are you agreeing with a diagnosis? Are you agreeing with a disease? Are you agreeing with an addiction? Those are open doors that need to be closed! Close that door by coming back to Him, agreeing with Him and what HE SAYS! Ask Him for forgiveness, repent and turn back to Him, who gives life abundantly. Stop giving agreement to the devil. Now, is the time.

Throw off the cloak of heaviness and put on the garment of praise! Praise Him, praise Him all you people, praise Him.