Marriage defined biblically is a sacred bond between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24 and Ephesians 5:31). A bond is something used to hold something together. The Bible talks of holding things together as yoked. Yoked can also mean hitched, attached, hold fast to or joined…together. Matthew chapter 19 is a good read for this. Many use a part of this in their own wedding vows. Verse 6 is Jesus speaking an he says, “So they (a man and his wife, from verse 5) are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” This is repeated in Mark 10:9….check it out for yourself.
Again, as one. What does that look like? And does the Bible really hold the answers to this question? I believe it does. I am going to focus on what the Lord led me to in Genesis. Specifically, following chapter 2, which I referenced in my last blog post, my focus will be on chapter 3. Genesis 3 is typically referred to as “The Fall of Man.” This can be a tough chapter. So often, the finger pointing already starts here…and it is pointed right at Eve. Let’s take a close look at this together, as I share what I see according to that which was revealed to me. First and unfortunately, Adam and Eve doubted God when the crafty serpent tempted them. Since, Eve was created to be Adam’s help meet, I believe they were there together. There is no reason to believe that they were separated. Secondly, they disobeyed and ate of the tree they were told not to eat from by God. The serpent misquoted God, who had told them not to eat of the tree of knowledge. Instead with a slight twist of the truth, the serpent questions what God said, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?” We know that is not what God said to them. This is a warning to be alert, know the Word and His Truth; have it hidden in your heart while testing and proving what you have heard. After they ate, their eyes were opened. Therefore, they were afraid and attempted to hide because their disobedience. Spoiler alert….God knows all and He sees all; we cannot hide anything from God. We cannot go anywhere that He is not present.
From here, the blame game starts. Adam has the guts to accuse who? Indirectly, he accuses God because it was God that had given him Eve. That’s pretty bold, especially since Adam had chosen to listen to Eve rather than God and eat the fruit. Eve was deceived when Adam did not lead. Sin enters the world….blame, fear, knowledge of good and evil. Disobedience has horrendous consequences. God’s plan was for us to live forever. The Bible is a book of history…His Story. A love story of redemption from the very beginning. Redemption comes through Jesus Christ. God knew what man would do, so in His incomprehensible love for us, He made a way.
As for marriage, the consequences still exist today. In Genesis 3, God first punishes the serpent by cursing it to crawl on it’s belly eating dust. Then, God reveals Jesus as the overcomer of the serpent. From there, God declares His punishment on all women and men because of their disobedience. To Eve, He says that her pain in childbirth will be increased and she will have the desire to usurp her husband’s leadership. To Adam, “because you listened to the voice of your wife,” the ground in which he is to work will be cursed making his labor difficult. Prior to the Fall, it was a blessing to work the ground (Genesis 2:15). Here is the point that the Lord brought me to…I will struggle with the desire to usurp my husband’s leadership. WOW….and ouch! God created man first, then woman was created from man to be his help meet, not the reverse.
So, what does marriage look like to me? I want my marriage to be God honoring. As a believer and follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, I want my marriage to be an example that brings honor to God. Therefore, I live by the Word and The Spirit. See 1 Timothy 2, Ecclesiastes 4, Song of Solomon, Ephesians 5, and 1 Corinthians 7, just to name a few. For us, Scott and I, this means we are one. We make major life changing decisions together after seeking the Lord in prayer. We honor, love and respect one another. We realize that we are an example to our children what a godly marriage looks like. We seek forgiveness. We accept one another as we are; not trying to change the other, knowing that this is the work of God in each of our lives. This requires grace, self-control, patience, and trust. When we do not agree about something, I need to trust Scott and his judgement to lead me and our family well. I am not the head of our household, period. This can be quite challenging to some of us women. When we first got married (pre-Christ), it was my way or the highway. I had the mindset that I was right, all the time. Ugh, so much pride! I had an older woman ask me if I would rather be right all the time or happier all the time. I choose happy. It took some time to change my mindset. This does not mean I do not or cannot question Scott on things. Remember, we are one….that means my voice counts for something. I’m blessed that he wants my input and values it. Just as a man should not rule with an iron fist so to speak, a woman should not step up and into his leadership position. For me, personally, I know I am not to lead since I am of Eve with a tendency to be more easily deceived. May I continually lift up my husband in prayer to be the man of God that he was created to be and then trust God, period.
Acts 1:8 says “but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.” I see my dear husband as my Jerusalem. If I am not bearing witness to him, as transformed by God’s work in me, then I do not think I should be going any further. God is preeminent in my life. Then my husband becomes my priority. Then I can move beyond my Jerusalem.
Disclaimer: Abuse is not godly! I am not claiming that anyone should submit to abuse.
Anchored 